Lake Ontario BASIC

Lake Ontario BASIC is a whimsical, and satirical programming language built in the spirit of classic BASIC — infused with politeness, progressive values, and a fearless Honey Badger attitude that takes zero shit from MAGA spin, GOP propaganda, or oligarch intimidation.

In Lake Ontario, alternative facts don't compile, universal healthcare protects against runtime crashes, wealth is taxed gracefully into public infrastructure, workers unionize effortlessly, and Honey Badger mode shreds disinformation with zero fear.

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1. Core Syntax & Language Features

Statements & Control Flow

Lake Ontario Keyword	BASIC Equivalent	Description
EXCUSE_ME	REM	Polite comment marker.
LAND_ACKNOWLEDGEMENT	INIT / HEADER	Mandatory respectful header for all scripts.
HONEY_BADGER_MODE	PRAGMA / STRICT	Activates zero-fear, take-no-shit execution mode.
HONEY_BADGER_DONT_CARE	IGNORE_WARNING	Dismisses bad-faith lawsuits and intimidation attempts.
BADGER_BITE	ASSERT_OUTPUT	Relentlessly outputs a fierce, unyielding truth statement.
FACT_CHECK	LET / =	Assigns a variable to an evidence-verified value.
BROADCAST_CBC	PRINT	Outputs truth to standard output in CBC public broadcasting style.
TOWN_HALL	INPUT	Prompts citizen input democratically.
PERHAPS	IF	Conditional branch based on evidence.
FACT_ESTABLISHED	THEN	Executes block if condition holds up under scrutiny.
STILL_IN_DENIAL	ELSE	Fallback branch when alternative facts collapse.
END_PERHAPS	END IF	Closes conditional block.
COAST_TO_COAST	FOR ... UP_TO	Loop iterating across values/provinces (supports STEP).
THANK_YOU_EH	NEXT	Ends loop iteration politely.
WHILE_CLASS_CONSCIOUS	WHILE	Loop executing while class awareness persists.
CONTINUE_ORGANIZING	WEND / END WHILE	Closes while loop.
UNIVERSAL_HEALTHCARE	TRY	Public safety net wrapping code to catch runtime faults.
EXECUTIVE_ORDER_BLOCKED	CATCH / ON ERROR	Catches exceptions when unconstitutional logic attempts to run.
SUBPOENA	GOSUB	Calls a subroutine by line number.
RETURN_TO_OTTAWA	RETURN	Returns control from a subroutine.
GOLF_VACATION	SLEEP	Pauses execution while the executive takes time off.
CLIMATE_EMERGENCY	THROW	Raises an urgent panic requiring immediate attention.
IMPEACH	END / STOP	Terminates program execution cleanly and democratically.
FAT_CATS_TAX	-	Applies an absurdly large redistribution levy.
DONUT_DIVIDEND	-	Provides pastry payouts during mass mobilization.
NATIONAL_STOOGE	-	Issues a self-serving spin from the political theatre.
GREEN_NEW_DEAL	-	Declares an ambitious climate-and-transit policy push.
RHETORICAL_QUESTION	-	Poses a question whose answer is obviously 'EVIDENCE_BASED'.
LOONIE_LOOP	-	Iterates over a cartoonish sequence of symbolic loonies.
SOCIAL_LICENSE	-	Grants approval from unionized beavers and public artists.
ELECTORATE_PULSE	-	Measures the public mandate with a satirical barometer.
NATIONAL_HEALTHCARE	TRY	Alias for UNIVERSAL_HEALTHCARE with extra pomp.

Farcical Policy Statements

• FAT_CATS_TAX amount: Issues an absurdly large wealth redistribution levy.
• DONUT_DIVIDEND amount: Schedules a donut payout for every public protest.
• NATIONAL_STOOGE statement: Publishes a theatrical political spin statement.
• GREEN_NEW_DEAL goal: Calls out an ambitious climate and transit policy agenda.
• RHETORICAL_QUESTION question: Asks a question with an obviously evidence-based answer.
• LOONIE_LOOP count: Generates a whimsical loop of cartoon loonies.
• SOCIAL_LICENSE name: Grants approval from unionized beavers and open-source poets.
• ELECTORATE_PULSE value: Reports a mock public enthusiasm percentage.
• NATIONAL_HEALTHCARE: Alias for UNIVERSAL_HEALTHCARE with extra pomp.

Progressive & Satirical Operators

• WEALTH_TAX (-): Subtraction or tax deduction.
• EQUAL_PAY (+): Addition or equitable distribution.
• PROPORTIONAL_SHARE (/): Division.
• FAIR_MULTIPLIER (*): Multiplication.
• POWER_TO_THE_PEOPLE (**): Exponentiation.
• MAPLE_SYRUP (%): Modulus, with extra Canadian sweetness.
• MOONSHOT (**): Exponentiation for goal-driven policy wins.

Boolean & State Literals

• EVIDENCE_BASED (True): Science-backed truth.
• ALTERNATIVE_FACT (False): Unsubstantiated MAGA claim evaluating to false.
• CLASSIFIED_MAR_A_LAGO (None): Missing, hidden, or misplaced variable state.

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2. Built-in Math, Science & Diversity Functions

Science, Health & Education

• SCIENCE_FACT("topic"): Returns peer-reviewed consensus statements on climate, vaccines, evolution, and diversity.
• PEER_REVIEWED_SQRT(val): Returns the square root grounded in mathematical proof.
• SCIENCE_ROUND(val, decimals): Rounds numbers with scientific accuracy.

Pro-Worker, Diversity & Social Welfare

• HONEY_BADGER_DEBUNK(claim): Shreds propaganda and lies into peer-reviewed dust with zero fear.
• HONEY_BADGER_BITE(target): Relentlessly tears apart bad-faith claims and oligarchy threats.
• HONEY_BADGER_STRIKE(action): Launches an unyielding worker strike with zero hesitation or fear.
• LIVING_WAGE(hours, rate): Calculates income based on fair living wage standards.
• UNIVERSAL_BASIC_INCOME(population, grant): Calculates UBI distribution pools.
• CARBON_OFFSET(emissions_tons): Calculates green energy dividend funds.
• UNIONIZE(workers): Organizes worker lists into bargaining units.
• CELEBRATE_DIVERSITY(items): Formats inclusive community collectives with 2SLGBTQIA+, Indigenous, and newcomer representation.
• DEFUND_OLIGARCHY(wealth): Cap hoardings and redistributes 95% to social housing.
• TAX_THE_BILLIONAIRE(amount): Deducts 90% of fortunes exceeding $1M into public services.
• DEBUNK("TEXT"): Converts ALL-CAPS MAGA hyperbole into calm, lowercase, CBC-verified facts.
• FACT_CHECK_CROWD(claimed): Scales down exaggerated crowd size claims to actual satellite counts.

Farcical Policy Built-ins

• FAT_CATS_TAX(amount): Tells the wealthy it’s time to lose a few zeros.
• DONUT_DIVIDEND(amount): Spreads pastry payouts across the solidarity front.
• NATIONAL_STOOGE(statement): Emits a spin-heavy public statement with extra nonsense.
• GREEN_NEW_DEAL(goal): Declares an electrified visionary public policy agenda.
• RHETORICAL_QUESTION(question): Asks a question where the answer is obviously evidence-based.
• LOONIE_LOOP(count): Generates a whimsical set of symbolic loonies.
• SOCIAL_LICENSE(name): Confirms approval from unionized beavers and open-source poets.
• ELECTORATE_PULSE(value): Reports a fun mock-stat poll percentage.

Farcical Canadian Policy Utilities

• SAY_SORRY(message): Delivers polite contrition with maple syrup sincerity.
• MAKE_IT_RAIN(amount): Redistributes wealth into healthcare, transit, and doughnuts.
• PUBLIC_TRANSIT_FARE(distance, base_fare): Calculates a polite fare for every commuter.
• TOQUE_WARMTH(temp_celsius): Converts weather into toque warmth guidance.
• TRUTH_METER(claim): Scores claims for Canadian sincerity.
• MAKE_IT_SNOW(forecast, flakes): Generates a satirical snowstorm forecast.

File I/O & Open Research

• PUBLISH_RESEARCH_FILE(path, content): Writes open-access research to disk.
• READ_RESOURCE(path): Reads public resource files into variables.

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3. Suite of Example Programs

1. examples/honey_badger_mode.lo: Fearless Honey Badger mode, shredding intimidation, and unyielding strike actions.
2. examples/hello.lo: Introductory greetings and evidence-based computing.
3. examples/tariffs_and_truth.lo: Fact-checking crowd sizes and UNIVERSAL_HEALTHCARE protection.
4. examples/progressive_canada.lo: Debunking tweets, taxing billionaires, and provincial loops.
5. examples/climate_policy.lo: Carbon dividends, renewable grid deployment, and oil subsidy blocks.
6. examples/mar_a_lago_audit.lo: Document retrieval subpoenas and golf vacation pauses.
7. examples/medicare_expansion.lo: Honey Badger edition defending dental care, pharmacare, and single-payer Medicare under the HB Health Act.
8. examples/electoral_fact_check.lo: Popular vote verification and democratic audits.
9. examples/full_language_tour.lo: Comprehensive tour of UBI, Unions, Science Facts, Diversity, File I/O, and WHILE_CLASS_CONSCIOUS loops.
10. examples/farcical_policy.lo: Satirical policy calculus with apologies, maple redistribution, and protest snow forecasts.

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4. Running Programs

Run any script using the interpreter:

python3 interpreter.py examples/full_language_tour.lo

5. IDE and Command Reference

A lightweight Lake Ontario BASIC IDE is available for interactive scripting.

Run it with:

python3 ide.py

The IDE lets you:

• browse example programs
• edit or create .lo scripts
• run scripts from the command line
• view the full Lake Ontario BASIC command reference

A complete command and function reference is also available in COMMANDS.md.

Standalone IDE Installation

The standalone IDE can be installed as a Python package from this repository:

python3 -m pip install .

Then launch it with the GUI IDE:

lake-ontario-ide

Or run the bundled launcher directly:

python3 run_ide.py

When the GUI starts, you can edit a script, run it, view output, and watch graphics appear on the canvas. The GUI also supports TOWN_HALL prompts in an input dialog.

Documentation Suite

A full documentation suite is available in the docs/ folder:

• docs/getting_started.md
• docs/language_reference.md
• docs/gui_ide_guide.md
• docs/examples_guide.md
• docs/developer_manual.md

These files provide user guides, reference manuals, examples, and developer extension notes.